If you are newly reunited here are some simple terms that you might find useful. They are used every day on the internet. The language of adoption is changing quickly as the politics heats up between pro and anti-adoption movements in this country. Words have power and some labels are more hurtful than others. As we were once considered "unwed mothers" society has embraced the "single mother" today, reflecting the fact that it's now acceptable to raise your own child without a marriage contract.

Abro

adoptive brother-sibling in the adoptive family. Can mean natural child of the adoptive family.

Adad

adoptive father

Adopted person

what adoptees like to be called

Adoptees

children who are adopted

Adopters

a couple who adopted a child

Adoption plan

modern phrase - refers to a pregnant woman who plans to either have an open adoption or closed. The mother has control over where the child will be placed

Amom

adoptive mother

Apars

adoptive parents

As if

what women were told to do after they signed their surrender papers: to go on with life "as if" nothing happened

Asis

adoptive sister-sibling in the adoptive family. Can also mean a natural child of the parents

Bdad

birthfather

Birthfather

a term given to natural fathers by the adoption industry

Birthmother

a term given to natural mothers by the adoption industry. It is sometimes wrongly used to describe an expectant mother who is considering adoption. All expectant mothers should be called mother until they decide what is best for themselves and their own child.

Birthmother Day

the day before Mother's day, created in Seattle, Washington by a group of natural mothers in 1990

Child/ren

a respectful way of including women who had to surrender twins or women who surrendered two children

Closed adoption

an adoption wherein all records are sealed and therefore, the adopted person has no information concerning his/her birth or origins

DOB

Date of Birth

Exiled mother

A natural mother who has lost a child to adoption and become an activist in the anti-adoption movement

Facilitator

an attorney or agency or any other organization that arranges adoptions

Firstmother

an alternative name for a woman who surrendered her child/ren to adoption

Foster parents

temporary home for children until permanent placement can be found

F2F

Face-to-face meeting usually between a mother and her newly found adult child/ren

GSA

Genetic sexual attraction. Mutual attraction after reunion

Honeymoon

the first stage of reunion, often the first year when the reunited parent and child look at each other through rose colored glasses. Much like the early stages of a romance.

KAD

Korean adoptions

Natural mother

a respectful term for women who lost her child/ren to adoption

Non ID

non Identifying information given to adoptees and mothers by homes and agencies that handled the adoption

OBC

Original Birth Certificate, rarely ever seen or obtained

Open adoption

an arrangement wherein the natural mother knows the adopters of her child/ren and is allowed some kind of contact. Not enforceable by law

Open records

natural mothers and adopted persons, seek open records which contain personal information so that they can find each other. Currently only a few states have open records for adult adoptees

PAP's

Potential Adoptive Parents

PTSD

Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. Usually referred to what natural mothers suffer, not unlike Vietnam Vets

Pullback

when one party in a reunion ceases to communicate or cuts back communication sharply

Regression

the age regression experienced by the natural mother during the initial stages of reunion to the age she was when she relinquished. Also can be experienced by the adoptee as he/she regresses to younger ages. Common for both

Relinquish

another word for surrendering a child

Roller coaster

the ups and downs of reunion and the intense feelings it causes

Search Angel

someone who has helped reunite families

Searcher

a friend who helps an adopted person or natural mother find each other

Searching mom

a natural mother searching for her relinquished child/ren

Surrender

refers to the official papers signed giving up parental rights. Many natural mothers use this term because they were coerced and had to surrender

SW's, SWer's

Social Workers

Triad

the three parts of the adoption triangle: adoptive parents, adopted person, and natural mother and/or father...anti-adoption activists do not recognize the "triad" and refer only to the Dyad of the natural mother and child

If there are other terms you think we should include on this list, please contact us on our Become a Member page.